21 February 2012

Listography : 5 things that make me happy - By Mya


Long time no speakio.
I must apologise for this, my schedule has been jam packed (Mmmm, Jam!) with important toddler affairs. People to see, furniture to lick, you know the deal.
However on checking my diary today I discovered that I had a slot free to write a little post on ye olde bloggio!

I thought, today, I would join in with Kate takes 5's Listography. This week is all about things that make you happy. I will just jump right in. Here we goo ...

1. Monkey. He's like totally my best mate. Monkey - I loves you squishy dude!

2. Peppa Pig. Hi, my name is Mya and I am a Peppaholic. 

3. My Ma 'n' Pa. All jokes aside, good old Baldy and Tubbs are pretty cool. If not a little weird ..

4. Food. All food. And if it's your food it tastes even better! 

5. Dancin'. There's nothing quite like a good old boogie I say! Get those endolphin thingys swimming around ya!  

Well that's five! I could go on with more things but I have a pressing appointment with a fridge door that is in dire need of magnet rearrangement. 

Catch ya later guys!

13 February 2012

Coming off Citalopram - Part 3

Well I failed the last attempt to come off Citalopram and actually went backwards and started taking them every day again for a while.

As I explained in a previous post, I sort of lost myself after we moved house. It was almost as though I had left myself at the old place. In order to get a house we could afford at the size we needed we had to downgrade to a less desirable area. Now I don't like to think of myself as a snob but I found it very difficult to adjust to being associated with this area.

My anxiety kicked in ten fold and I wouldn't leave the house. I even found it difficult to open the door when someone knocked. In retrospect it is actually quite funny picturing me cowering behind my front door, peering through the peep hole, sheepishly asking "who is it please?" through the letterbox like a scared, little old lady! It got pretty bad. I felt so guilty for Mya keeping her trapped inside the house with her mother too terrified to even step outside her front door to put the rubbish bags out. I went to see my GP and they prescribed beta blockers along with my Citalopram. The beta blockers have worked wonders. They take away the feelings of fear, racing heart, shaking and sweating, leaving just the irrational thoughts which I can deal with separately.

About a week or two ago, I finally 'found myself' again.

Since then I have been leaving the house, visiting friends and doing simple tasks like popping to the shops to get bread and milk without suffering panic attacks.

I went back to the doctors for a follow up on the beta blockers and asked if I could change anti-depressants as I was unhappy with Citalopram and was reluctant to increase the dosage again. They prescribed Fluoxetine but told me I had to stop Citalopram completely for a week before starting the new ones.
I was like 'you frickin' kidding me??' How was I supposed to do that when I had taken so long just to cut down the dosages!

Well, I did it.

Do not ask me how. I don't know. And it has only been a few days but so far so good. I haven't taken any Citalopram and am hoping if I manage to stay off them for the rest of the week that I will not go onto the Fluoxetine either. It feels bizarre even writing it, especially as it is so soon, but for the first time in a long, long time, I feel free. I feel happy. And I would just love it to last a little while.

Just a little while to enjoy being me - Citalopram free.

Read Coming off Citalopram - Part 1
Read Coming off Citalopram - Part 2
Read Coming off Citalopram - Part 4

4 February 2012

Mya's first snow

Mya missed out on the snow last year.
We lived in a flat without a garden and she was a little too small to take out for long in the cold.
I have never much liked snow myself. It's cold, wet and has the amazing ability to throw me onto my arse  ... every time!
But there is something about it. No matter how much I want to hate it, I find it so captivating.
I looked outside the windows of my flat at all of the small children playing in the snow and couldn't wait for the time that I could to show it to Mya.

It started snowing today when Mya was in bed for her nap.
When she woke up, one of the first things she spotted was the snow falling. Her face lit up and she looked at me with her little face full of excitement and curiosity.

Look, it's snow! I said.

Running up to the window she clambered up the sofa to get a closer look at the garden sprinkled with white dust.

Snow, snow! she exclaimed.

She couldn't get dressed fast enough when we asked her if she would like to go outside. Throwing on the most random choice of clothes she bounced with anticipation.

Owside, owside!

She wandered outside into the white unknown holding on tight to her daddy.

I snapped away with my camera and this is the face I captured.

A face full of wonder.

A face full of joy.

She threw herself around in the snow, running and slipping onto her bum countless times.

She threw snowballs and tried sweeping it up with a dustpan and brush.
She didn't even seem to notice the cold biting at her cheeks and nipping at her tiny fingers.
Even when daddy got cold and announced that we should probably go inside she shook her head and carried on sweeping!

She loved it.

There really is nothing more amazing and beautiful than watching your child discovering something new.

1 February 2012

The Gallery - Me right now

This theme this week on The Gallery is Me Right Now.

Mya has decided that whenever I am on the computer that she must be sat on my lap.
She thinks it is a hilarious game pressing buttons and watching my reaction when pages disappear and the screen turns sideways.
Today is no exception and even now typing this I am pushing away chubby little moo hands!

No Mya, NO!

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She says hello